When did we stop playing?
- 2 hours ago
- 2 min read
Not just with toys, but with life itself.
Through my work with children, I've been learning more about the PACE model: Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, and Empathy. It was designed to help traumatised children feel safe enough to connect, regulate, and heal.
What's surprised me isn't the model. It's the resistance to it. I've heard people dismiss it, roll their eyes, call it too soft, insisting children "just need boundaries." They do need boundaries. But they also need relationships that help them feel safe, and those two things aren't in competition.
That got me wondering why we assume PACE is only for children. At what point do we stop being playful? When do we stop accepting ourselves as we are, and start swapping curiosity about our own reactions for criticism instead? When do we stop offering ourselves the empathy we so clearly need?
Maybe the real tragedy isn't that children experience trauma. It's that so many adults are still carrying theirs, unexamined. We judge ourselves and each other. We react before we get curious, and criticise before we understand. Somewhere along the way, we forget that beneath every behaviour is a nervous system just trying to feel safe.
I've worked for myself for over thirteen years, mostly surrounded by people actively choosing healing and growth. Recently I stepped into a different environment, and it's challenged me more than I expected, there are moments where the adults seem more dysregulated than the children. I've walked into rooms where frustration spreads fast, negativity turns contagious, and it's easy to get swept up in it.
It's reminded me that emotional regulation isn't a finish line. It's a daily practice, not a permanent state.
These days, PACE isn't just a framework for supporting traumatised kids for me, it's becoming a way of living. Can I stay playful when life feels heavy? Can I accept myself when I get things wrong? Can I meet myself with curiosity instead of criticism, and lead with empathy, for others and for myself?
If more of us could ask ourselves those questions, the children wouldn't be the only ones healing. Maybe we'd all start healing together.
If any of this resonates with you, get in touch and let's see how we can help.
