Everyone Is Replaceable
“EVERYONE IS REPLACEABLE. YOU’RE NOTHING MORE THAN THE PRICE OF A £25 RECRUITMENT AD.”
I was once told this by a manager.
It was a long time ago. I have absolutely no idea how much an Indeed advert costs these days, and this was well before online recruitment became the norm.
But those words have stayed with me for over 30 years.
London in the heyday of the beauty industry
Let me take you back to London in the heyday of the beauty industry.
I was a young, enthusiastic, highly skilled beauty therapist working at one of the busiest and most prestigious beauty salons in Mayfair.
Elizabeth Arden’s Red Door Salon.
An iconic name, straight from New York, with a clientele to match.
I loved my job.
I had built up a huge personal clientele. My appointment column was fully booked, I came highly recommended, and celebrities were regular visitors to my treatment room.
I was good at what I did, and I worked incredibly hard to be good at it.
The manager I hated
But I had a manager I absolutely hated.
Now, with the knowledge, experience and understanding I have around human behaviour, trauma, identity and the nervous system, I can look back and see things differently.
I can recognise that there may have been struggles behind her need for control. Perhaps her own sense of identity was so wrapped up in her position that having therapists who were individually successful felt threatening.
I couldn’t see any of that then.
All I knew was that she didn’t like clients specifically requesting me.
She wanted a bank of therapists who were interchangeable. Nobody standing out. Nobody becoming too important. Nobody having too much power through their own reputation.
And I was the opposite of that model.
Every YES mattered
My clients wanted me.
And goodness, did I work for them.
I worked longer hours than almost anyone. Opened the salon, locked it up, took extra days, squeezed people in, said yes to practically every request.
I burnt the candle at both ends.
Working ridiculous hours and then going out partying in London until the early hours, only to get up and do it all again.
It sounds exhausting now.
It was exhausting then.
But the industry was booming. The basic wages were rubbish, yet the tips from wealthy clients could be extraordinary.
Those tips paid my rent.
So every extra client mattered.
Every recommendation mattered.
Every YES mattered.
The day none of it mattered
Until one day, none of it mattered.
I was the senior therapist, and my manager announced that my position was being made redundant.
Apparently, the business could employ two ordinary therapists for the cost of one senior.
I was welcome to apply for a lower-paid position.
She knew I couldn’t afford to.
And just like that, after everything I had given, I was out.
I was told to leave immediately.
No opportunity to say goodbye to the clients I had spent years looking after. No chance to give them my contact details.
And a very clear warning that if I attempted to contact or poach any of them, legal action would follow.
Just replaceable
I was replaceable.
Not by somebody with the same experience.
Not by somebody who had built the same relationships.
Just replaceable.
And I think that’s the part that stayed with me.
Because I had confused being valued for my work with being valued as a person.
I thought that if I worked harder, gave more, stayed later and proved myself indispensable, somehow that would protect me.
It didn’t.
Three decades later
Fast-forward more than three decades.
Today I saw a funny picture of a monkey wearing sunglasses with a message about no longer stressing over a job that isn’t yours.
I laughed.
And then this memory came flooding back.
How many of us are still doing it?
Because how many of us are still doing exactly what I did?
Saying yes when we’re exhausted.
Missing time with family.
Working through lunch.
Taking work home.
Feeling guilty when we’re ill.
Believing that being the person who always goes above and beyond somehow makes us more worthy.
Until eventually our bodies start saying NO because we haven’t given ourselves permission to.
And this is where burnout begins to take hold.
Not necessarily in one dramatic moment, but through months or years of overriding our own needs.
A meeting in the middle
And here’s what I understand now.
There needs to be a meeting in the middle.
I don’t believe the answer is to stop caring about our work.
I love working. I love being good at what I do. I love commitment, pride, passion and purpose.
But I no longer believe those things should come at the expense of our wellbeing.
And employers have a responsibility here too.
You cannot continually take from people without considering what is being depleted.
Bringing wellbeing into the workplace
This is one of the reasons I am so passionate about bringing workplace wellbeing into corporate environments through Soulstar.
Not simply a lovely wellness day, a massage or an hour of breathing exercises, although those can be wonderful.
But helping people understand stress, nervous system regulation, boundaries, emotional wellbeing and the importance of recognising their own needs.
And helping employers understand that looking after their people isn’t an indulgence.
It’s part of creating a healthy, sustainable workplace.
Care for your people, and you give them a much better chance of caring for your business.
The deeper work of self-recovery
It’s also why self-recovery has become such an important part of my work.
Because I meet people who have spent years being everything to everyone.
The reliable one.
The hardworking one.
The one who never says no.
The one who holds everything together.
Until one day they realise they have completely lost themselves in the process.
And finding your way back isn’t always as simple as taking a holiday or booking a massage.
Sometimes it means looking at the beliefs that made you feel you had to earn your worth through what you did for others.
That’s the deeper work of self-recovery.
What I wish I’d known
I don’t regret those years in London. They taught me so much about my industry, people, ambition and myself.
But I do wish that younger version of me had understood one thing.
You can be dedicated without being depleted.
You can be brilliant at your job without making it your entire identity.
And you can give your best without giving away every last bit of yourself.
Which camp are you in?
So I’m curious.
Which camp are you in?
Are you an employer who genuinely invests in the wellbeing of your staff?
Are you the employee who is quietly burning out while everyone tells you what an amazing job you’re doing?
Or are you still running a business where people are considered nothing more than the price of an Indeed advert?
Because people may be replaceable on an organisational chart.
But their experience, their relationships, their humanity and what they bring to the workplace are not quite so easily replaced.
And perhaps it’s time we remembered that.
Soulstar Holistic Wellbeing & Self-Recovery
Come home to yourself.
